February 13, 2011

Question #6

Day 6. Jaded Beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Well, first thing's first with this one.....
Definition of Jaded (courtesy of Urban Dictionary): The end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences, disappointment, and unfulfillment fed into a person where they get to a point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment. 

I think that we are jaded, but it is something that is shown to us from day 1. We are trained when we are little to accept that some people are beautiful and some people aren't. The girl at the supermarket? Ugly....The one on TV? Stunning. I think that we need to show our kids that EVERYONE is beautiful and worthy. I am awesome and awful at this. I am the first person to compliment complete strangers on great outfit choices, cute hair or pretty eyes. I am also the first to notice bad shoes, strange clothing and unfortunate fashion choices. I don't say anything to those people about their choices, because i've been on that side of a conversation, but I am one to Tweet about it....
There are all sorts of pop culture references here that we can learn so much from. The amazing Susan Boyle who takes every one's breath away while on stage at Britian's Got Talent. The inspiring Nick Vujicic who was born with no limbs but speaks at schools worldwide to teach kids about success. Even one of my least favourite celebrities Lady Gaga sings a song all about how we are born superstars, no matter what we look like. 
I know the opinions of others have always meant a great deal to me when it came to my appearance. I think the worst part of it is that what people told me I believed, and started to tell myself the same thing. If I heard I looked fat in an outfit I would donate it to Goodwill. It didn't matter if it was a complete stranger or someone who I knew well. I did all of my clothing shopping alone, no opinion seeking here. When I met Jonathan I was at my heaviest and was absolutely miserable about it. I couldn't shake the nasty thought that if people told me to my face I was fat 50lbs ago what were they saying behind my back now. He told me I was beautiful, over and over again. He made me believe it. He made me tell it to myself. Despite all of his love and support I still felt that I needed to lose the weight. I went to a trainer, changed our diet, changed our lives, tried crazy diets and he did it all alongside me to support me. He was fine with waiting an extra year for the wedding so I would love myself as much as I love him. 105 pounds later I ordered my dress 6 sizes smaller than the one in the shop and was very, very proud of myself. 
The honeymoon was amazing, but featured 3 weeks of eating whatever and drinking a bottle of wine each evening. We came back and my jeans didn't fit. I am one of the people who gain weight just by looking at food, but love to eat. We're back at the trainer, and back on the no munching rule, but I am so much more comfortable in my skin than I used to be. It might be because I know he loves me no matter what, but I think it is also because I also love me no matter what. I still have the mornings that I try on 30 things and fight the urge to climb back into bed. But now there are way more that I leave the house head held high because I feel great. I am not classically beautiful. I am not (or will ever be) stick thin. I am not tall. I will always have curves. I will always love my eyes and most of all, I will always smile. What other people think doesn't matter, it is that you think that counts. 
         Just remember......


Jonathan Latour said...

I like the curves the most. I also am very happy to have you with me. My diet is better, I'm healthier and feel great in the mornings too. You have inspired me these last 2 years, and will continue to do so.

You've helped me grow more confident as well.

With everlasting love and support,
The guy sitting next to you at the computer desk.

Jonathan Latour said...


3 years of inspiration.

Blame the mistake on men and time keeping abilities.

misssrobin said...

I love the limited edition quote.

Learning to love ourselves is such an ongoing lesson. Congratulations for all the progress you've made.