December 10, 2010

Things I learned today

So today was an interesting day. I learned a few things about myself.

Biggie #1- I really don't care. If you want to be negative, angry, threatening, or mean take it elsewhere or stop reading. This is me, these are my emotions, this is my life. If that means I never see you again that sucks and I will miss  you, but I refuse to be brought down because you are scared of something.
Biggie #2- Threats make me giggle. I must read too many fantasy novels where the antagonist threatens the protagonist and the protagonist always comes out ahead. Threats don't make me squirm or stop in my tracks, they make me stronger and more resolved to change things or move on.
Biggie #3- My husband loves me a ton. I get messages all day at work that are positive reinforcement because he knows I don't want to be there, but can't leave until I have a replacement trained. He drops me off and I get a big kiss before leaving the car, and when he comes back to get me he lets me vent before unleashing the evening's plans on me. He even spends 45 minutes of our date night in Future Shop alone so I can chat with a friend on the phone. Pure love, right there.
Biggie #4- I love the people who are in my life, but don't want to constantly fight with them. Maybe I'm not mature enough, maybe we are too different in our mindsets and opinions, maybe it's just not meant to be. I don't know. I would love for it to work because this is crappy and awful, especially right before the holidays, but if this, right now, is what our relationship is going to be like forever I don't want it.

So that's it, that's all. No more rants, I promise! I will be back here tomorrow and I promise to be a more delightful read! Thanks for bearing with me!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

CUNT

misssrobin said...

I love raw emotion posts. Especially when they are about how you feel and not just throwing blame.

I think this post was very well written. You defined where you are right now emotionally and what you are not willing to do. You are setting boundaries to protect yourself. That's so important.

Never feel like you have to apologize for how you feel. This is your blog. You get to do what you want with it. If it is not a place where you can vent then it will just be full of fluff.

Good luck with the holidays. I am dreading them as my whole family is coming to town for Christmas. All kinds of expectations where my wishes mean nothing. I'm preparing myself now.

Shannon said...

First: I love you. And I love that you're strong enough to write all of this for everyone to see. The holidays may be tough, but with the support from the people who really love you you'll get through them fine.

Second: I don't think you should have to "earn" love from family. I think people should always strive to live up to the love and deserve it, but I don't believe that receiving it should a reward for certain behaviours.

Third: Seriously, Anonymous? That's the best you've got? If you can't say something that you can sign your name to, then I say... Put on your big girl panties and deal with.

Oh, and Fourth: Did I mention I love you? ♥

Kelly Latour said...

Blog edited December 13th to take out some of the personal references. I feel like this is changing it into a bit of a lie as the original content was my exact feelings, but have my back against a wall because of the post.